August 2011
0 posts
2 tags
“Look how Greenzo’s testing! They love him in every demographic: colored...”
– Jack Donaghy
July 2011
10 posts
2 tags
Liz: You ready for Larry King Live tonight?
Tracy: You know it. I cursed for 3 hours straight just to get it out of my system, you dumb bitch.
2 tags
“Tell him his mother’s here! …And she loves him! …But not in a...”
– Colleen Donaghy
2 tags
“I’m whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the...”
– Tracy Jordan
2 tags
Liz: Kenneth, why did you bet that terrible hand?
Kenneth: Why? Because I believe life is for the living. I believe in taking risks and biting off more than you can chew. And also, people were yelling and I got confused about the rules.
2 tags
“I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after...”
– Tracy Jordan
2 tags
Jack: Certainly you can't be surprised that there's a lot of negative stuff about you out there. Don't you ever Google yourself?
Tracy: Sure, I google myself all the time, like when Angie's not in the mood or I'm alone in a hotel.
2 tags
“Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you’re not left with several bite marks...”
– Jenna Maroney
2 tags
“As you know, my single, “My Single Is Dropping,” is dropping.”
– Angie Jordan
2 tags
“Listen up, Fives. A Ten is speaking.”
– Jenna Maroney
October 2010
1 post
1 tag
Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ..
Liz: Sandwiches?
September 2010
1 post
1 tag
"You sound weird .. DO YOU HAVE A BEARD?!"
-Liz Lemon
August 2010
5 posts
"OK. Sorry it took me so long to answer. I was...
-Tracy Jordan
"There's no link between diabetes and diet. That's...
-Tracy Jordan
"That's not me, that's the Tracy Jordan Japanese...
-Tracy Jordan
"I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized...
-Tracy Jordan
"Do you know it's still illegal to be black in...
-Tracy Jordan
June 2010
2 posts
Avery: Who is number one in your speed dial?
Jack: BlackBerry, Warren Buffett. iPhone, Jimmy Buffet.
I can't change! I'm like a chameleon - always a...
-Tracy Jordan
March 2010
1 post
January 2010
5 posts
30 Rock, 4x10 Black Light Attack!
Danny: So we’re getting into it and she takes off her glasses. Real sexy.
Jack: Nice.
Danny: But she never takes off her shoes, which I kinda like. Even though the reason is she’s never let a man see her feet.
Jack: What?
Danny: And she’s kind of a tease. Mostly we just kiss and then she makes me go down to the Deli to get her a sandwich. So we haven’t gone too far. But under that dress I can tell she’s wearing some really weird underwear. I wanna see it.
Jack: They’re called spanks.
Cerie: She just changed her relationship status from "Working On It" to "Weirdsies."
Jack: O.M.F.G.
30 Rock
tvquotes:
Kenneth: Oh! Miss Lemon! You have several messages. Ah, let’s see: that compnay running the bike tour in South Carolina called and said ‘no singles’.
Liz: Ok
Kenneth: And your credit card company called, wanted to make sure that you’re the one buying cream soda in bulk.
Liz: I sure am.
Kenneth: And your landlord called and he said ‘it is not the toilet, it’s you’.
December 2009
7 posts
Jack: I’ve had enough. 50 years of criticism and feelings of inadequacy. 50 years of ruined Christmases.
Liz: What are you saying?
Jack: I can’t be alone with her. You see Lemon, my mother is like a virus and my body is trying to get rid of her. Good god, she can’t know I’m having these thoughts! She can’t know about the 8 minutes! If she knew, she’d have me arrested. She’s done it before!
Jenna: Who was that?
Liz: A guy that I met.
Jenna: Is this part of your mommy thing.
Liz: Only so far as in we met because I touched his head thinking he was a child?
Tracy: Jack, you don’t get it. I don’t want to spend so much, I have to! I’m afraid Angie will divorce me if ever have enough money for her to live off of half. So before she can get it, I have to spend money on useless things, like gold shoes, and Grizz and Dot Com.
Jack: She’s not going to get half, Tracy. What does your pre-nup say?
Tracy: I don’t have a pre-nup. When Angie and I got married, my only assets were a toaster oven and two tickets to a Young MC concert.
“By putting a TV actress in the movie world we can promote both. It’s like how...”
– Jack Donaghy
“If a patient’s friend runs in the room in the middle of an operation, then...”
– Dr. Spaceman
November 2009
24 posts
“Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.”
– Jenna Marroney
“You are blowing up like a balloon with a grenade in it!”
– Tracy Jordan
“If you’ve just joined us, we’re with Tracy Jordan, who is giving...”
– Larry King
“Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s...”
– Jack Donaghy
“My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a...”
– Tracy Jordan
Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us?
Tracy: I don't need to read it; the whole thing is loosely based on an evening I had with Isiah Thomas.
Jack: Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.
Liz: I'm twelve years younger than you.
Jack: A woman your age then.
“I can’t support that. Dam is a swear word. I’d support it if instead...”
– Random Congressman
“A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since Where’s Waldo went...”
– Tracy Jordan
Frank: Tracy, did you hear? Fred Dawkins, the incredibly overweight guy Pac-man was based off of died.
Tracy: I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
“It’s going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that...”
– Jenna Marroney
“That’s what I’m talking about, empathy. It’s about as useless...”
– Jack Donaghy
30 Rock
tvquotes:
Jenna: You’re setting him up to get it! You don’t think I know that trick? You don’t think I’ve been brought in on a million auditions just to make Kim Catrall seem grounded and human?
