“Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.”
— Tracy Jordan
— Tracy Jordan
— Tracy Jordan
|Pete:||So, who is this Thomas guy?|
|Liz:||Oh, I don't know he is one of Jack's friends. Oh my god. Isn't Jack friends with Tom DeLay? Am I going on a date with Tom DeLay? Ugh! Why did I say I would do this!|
|Liz:||Here's the thing .. the way that you dress is making some people around the office uncomfortable.|
|Liz:||I guess it's mostly me... that has the problem with it.|
|Cerie:||Oh .. because you have one of those like body image things?|
|Liz:||No, it's not that.|
|Cerie:||Good, because I was gonna say you... you still have a good body.|
|Liz:||Well... thank you. But this isn't about me.|
|Cerie:||Like how did you dress before you were married?|
|Liz:||.. I'm not married Cerie.|
|Cerie:||Oh, for some reason I though you had like three kids...|
|Liz:||No, never married, no kids ..|
|Cerie:||Because somtimes you have like food stains on your shirt and stuff .. I just assumed that it was kids ..|
|Liz:||You know what? Forget I mentioned it. You look great ..|
|Jack:||Well as you know I’ve been studying comedy, and learning what’s funny. I’m watching Friends right now. What happens with Ross and Rachel? No no no, don’t tell me. Seriously. What were you saying?|
|Liz:||So will you do it?|
|Jack:||I don't know Lemon, I'm not an actor. This is .. your world.|
|Liz:||Oh, come on. You can do this.|
|Pete:||You were great in that video.|
|Jack:||This is live .. television. I've never done anything like that before .. Okay I'll do it!|
|Liz:||Great! Great. Thanks Jack. So, rehearsal will be tomorrow at two. Please don't be late. And I will fax you any changes by nine am.|
|Jack:||You’re such a Monica!|
|Frank:||If they've got cookies up there grab some.|
|Toofer:||And get them to pay for my samovar.|
|Liz:||Well of course! I mean .. I assume that's what were meeting about.|
|Tracy Jordan:||Where the hot lesbians at Lemon?|
|Liz Lemon:||I knew it! You can read!|
|Tracy Jordan:||Fine, Yes. I am literate. I even have a column in Ebony magazine called 'Musings'.|
|Liz Lemon:||You're unbelievable!|
|Tracy Jordan:||I'm unbelievable? What about your racist mess? Thinking a grown man is illiterate. That's the subtle racism of lowered expectations. Bing Crosby said that.|
|Liz Lemon:||No, Bill Cosby said that.|
|Tracy Jordan:||That’s racist.|
|Pete Hornberger:||Look. We can all agree Liz is generally pretty racist. The point is, you have people counting on you. You can't be finding excuses not to be here.|
|Tracy Jordan:||But this job is hard! I just want to be able to do what I want to do. You know I once shot a whole movie without ever getting out of my car.|
|Pete Hornberger:||Yeah, I paid to see that. That was a supposed to be a western ..|
Liz: I don’t wanna get roped into another one of his terrible parties. I’m always the only person who shows up.
- 30 Rock, 2x05 Greenzo
Jack: Oh god the room is spinning! I’m one of your actors and freaking out! Talk me down!
Liz: Ok. Here’s your pep talk. You’re not an actor, you’re Jack Donaghy. So quit whining and nut up! You’re right if you can’t do this you are a failure. Josh can do this, and earlier today he ate a club sandwich with the toothpick still in it.Jenna can do this. And she was once engaged to David Blaine.
Liz: Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack, so be a man and get it done.
Jack: If you were any other woman on Earth, I would be turned on right now.
- 1.05 - Jack Tor
Oh that look that Liz gives him in that last pic. Guh.
— Liz Lemon