| Toofer: | The beverage situation around here is reprehensible. |
| Liz: | Aw .. Good morning sunshine! |
| Toofer: | Surely our massive conglomerate parent company could spring for a samovar of coffee. |
| Frank: | Yeah, or like a big coffee dispenser. |
| Toofer: | That's what a samovar is. |
| Frank: | Are there other black nerds? Or is it just you and Urkel? |
Devin: You’re going down.
Jack: No, Devin. I don’t do that.
30 Rock, 1x18: Fireworks
| Jack: | Attention all! Attention all! It is with great pleasure I would like to announce the recipient of this years prestigious GE 'Follow-ship' award is none other than our very own Liz Lemon. |
| Pete: | Wait, how could Liz win a fellowship award, she doesn't like people. |
| Jack: | No. Followship. Presented annually to the woman, sorry, person who best exemplifies a follower. |
| Liz: | I'm not a follower! |
| Jack: | It also comes with ten grand. |
| Liz: | I accept this proudly on behalf of followers everywhere. |
“He guns it. The girl falls into the water. So we circle back, looking for her. Remember its pitch black out, the boat hits something .. Hard. And you hear kind of a *grinding noise*. And Brokaw says “just go, don’t look back”. Now, I’m not a writer but maybe there is a skit in that ..”
— Jack Donaghy
| Liz: | Hi. I don't want to sound like a weirdo fan but I am obsessed with everything you have ever done. I used to make my friends act out your skits the next day .. When I say 'my friends' I mean my Fisher Price 'My Friend' dolls because I didn't have a lot of .. friends. Oh boy, am I still talking? |
| Rosemary: | You're going to kill me aren't you? |
| Liz: | What's with the cookie jar? |
| Jack: | I collect them. |
| Liz: | Really? Is that some sort of unresolved childhood thing? |
| Jack: | Nice try. Uh, we never had any cookie jars in my home because my mother never baked us any cookies because she never felt we deserved any cookies. So obviously it has nothing to do with my childhood. |
| Liz: | But that cookie jar says 'mom' on it .. |
| Jack: | Uh, I don't think so. I've always viewed it as an upside-down 'wow'. |
Dr. Beauvoir: Are you getting enough sleep?
Liz: No.
Dr. Beauvoir: Drinking water?
Liz: No.
Dr. Beauvoir: Are you exercising at all?
Liz: No.
Dr. Beauvoir: You still working those long hours?
Liz: Yes.Dr. Beauvoir: Still not eating right? Huh?
Liz: No, but I am eating a lot!
Dr. Beauvoir: You sound stressed.
Liz: My boyfriend is moving to Cleveland, but I’m going to visit him over vacation! And my boss is super mad at me because I know he fell asleep on top of his fiancée. And it’s the season finale of my show this week and a star is missing and may have been abducted by Kabala powerful black celebrities.
Dr. Beauvoir: That sounds stressful.
- 1.21 - Hiatus
Jenna: The reason I have some English inflection in my speech is because I lost my virginity to the “My Fair Lady” soundtrack.
- 30 Rock, 3x16 Apollo, Apollo
Liz: How do you two even know each other?
Al Gore: We met when Jack was an intern for Senator Ted Kennedy. Let me tell you, Jack was the most liberal guy…
Liz: So what you’re saying is that any woman that doesn’t like you, is a racist.
Stephen: No. No no no no. Some women are gay.
- 1.16 - The Source Awards
