30 Rock Quotes.

secondhandjoy: JACK: The company has acquired an up-and-coming...

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 12:31:19 -0500

JACK: The company has acquired an up-and-coming social networking site called YouFace so each executive has to set up their YouFace page. Now this picture will be my pholo—
LIZ: Not a word.
JACK: —Which is a contraction for ‘photo’ and ‘hello.’ YouFace. Who are you facing?
LIZ: No one. Those sites are for horny married chicks with kids who want to exchange pervy emails with their old highschool boyfriends.
JACK: And since all your highschool boyfriends are now gay…
LIZ: Exactly!

30 Rock, 4x08 Secret Santa

fuckyeahlizlemon:30rockthings:giselebock |...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:29:02 -0500

fuckyeahlizlemon:30rockthings:giselebock | defyingthefates

Angie: I cannot believe you made me come here for this. Now I won’t have enough time to shop for Christmas presents and still get my hair did!
Tracy: Your hair did?! You just got your hair did! You have to get your hair did again?!
Angie: IT NEEDS TO BE DID EVERY WEEK!
Liz: Maybe we could un-did these handcuffs.
Tracy & Angie: RACIST! CRACKER!

—4.07: Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001

Jenna: Who was that?

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:15:00 -0500

Jenna: Who was that?
Liz: A guy that I met.
Jenna: Is this part of your mommy thing.
Liz: Only so far as in we met because I touched his head thinking he was a child?

Tracy: Jack, you don’t get it. I don’t want to spend so much, I have to! I’m afraid Angie will divorce me if ever have enough money for her to live off of half. So before she can get it, I have to spend money on useless things, like gold shoes, and Grizz and Dot Com.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:14:38 -0500

Tracy: Jack, you don’t get it. I don’t want to spend so much, I have to! I’m afraid Angie will divorce me if ever have enough money for her to live off of half. So before she can get it, I have to spend money on useless things, like gold shoes, and Grizz and Dot Com.
Jack: She’s not going to get half, Tracy. What does your pre-nup say?
Tracy: I don’t have a pre-nup. When Angie and I got married, my only assets were a toaster oven and two tickets to a Young MC concert.

"By putting a TV actress in the movie world we can promote both. It’s like how we’re including a..."

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 01:12:07 -0500

“By putting a TV actress in the movie world we can promote both. It’s like how we’re including a Heroes DVD with every missile guidance system we sell.”

- Jack Donaghy

"If a patient’s friend runs in the room in the middle of an operation, then you have to stop...."

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:24:18 -0500

“If a patient’s friend runs in the room in the middle of an operation, then you have to stop. It’s the doctor’s code.”

- Dr. Spaceman

"Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes."

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 10:14:41 -0500

“Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.”

- Jenna Marroney

"You are blowing up like a balloon with a grenade in it!"

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 22:11:10 -0500

“You are blowing up like a balloon with a grenade in it!”

- Tracy Jordan

cheia: Jenna: Drama is like gay men Gatorade. It replenishes...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:30:05 -0500

cheia:

Jenna: Drama is like gay men Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.

- 30 Rock, 4x06 Sun Tea

"If you’ve just joined us, we’re with Tracy Jordan, who is giving guitar icon Peter..."

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:42:06 -0500

“If you’ve just joined us, we’re with Tracy Jordan, who is giving guitar icon Peter Frampton enigmatic clues about a secret treasure. Stay with us.”

- Larry King

"Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s perfect."

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:41:33 -0500

“Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody’s perfect.”

- Jack Donaghy

"My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes..."

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:39:58 -0500

“My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle.”

- Tracy Jordan

Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us?

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:39:18 -0500

Frank: Has anyone looked at this sexual harassment stuff they gave us?
Tracy: I don't need to read it; the whole thing is loosely based on an evening I had with Isiah Thomas.

Jack: Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:06:16 -0500

Jack: Lemon, I want to thank you. For showing me that I could have a pleasant evening with a woman my age.
Liz: I'm twelve years younger than you.
Jack: A woman your age then.

"I can’t support that. Dam is a swear word. I’d support it if instead of dam we called it..."

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:05:04 -0500

“I can’t support that. Dam is a swear word. I’d support it if instead of dam we called it a ‘god finger’.”

- Random Congressman

"A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since Where’s Waldo went to that barber pole..."

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:04:35 -0500

“A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since Where’s Waldo went to that barber pole factory.”

- Tracy Jordan

Frank: Tracy, did you hear? Fred Dawkins, the incredibly overweight guy Pac-man was based off of died.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:04:07 -0500

Frank: Tracy, did you hear? Fred Dawkins, the incredibly overweight guy Pac-man was based off of died.
Tracy: I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.

Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:03:51 -0500

Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.

"It’s going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair..."

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 14:53:00 -0500

“It’s going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair and make-up?”

- Jenna Marroney

"That’s what I’m talking about, empathy. It’s about as useless as the Winter..."

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 14:15:43 -0500

“That’s what I’m talking about, empathy. It’s about as useless as the Winter Olympics .. This February on NBC.”

- Jack Donaghy